NO BE BY FORCE!

Feminism. Homophobia. Cyber bullying. Mental health. Those four have been the hotbed of debate on the UOT timeline since late Saturday / early Sunday. The inferno still rages on, but I feel like we are dragging it threadbare, spectacularly digressed and are missing the point altogether. Before I lose you, here is a thread that wraps it all up neatly, with a bow on top. If you care to find out more, go right ahead. What I can tell you is what started out as a simple altercation, a friend defending her friend, turned into a very sticky situation; the kind unseen on all these spectacularly melodramatic reality shows on our TV screens. People were blocked (I am one of them), muted, unfollowed (made the cut here too) and all manner of disassociation from those whose opinions differed with the feminist movement or even seemed to “champion” homophobia. In short, it became a crime to simply be on the TL for the drama. 

I could have taken some time to think about it last night, but honestly  was too tired to even think of my own day let alone plan for today. However, Colin (@spartakussug) posted a blog  at some point yesterday, which I got to read this morning, that captured my thoughts. In so many words, he asks; do we really have the courage to be the generation that effects change? Are we the chosen generation we sing so fervently of in church (and sometimes the club) every Sunday? We have identified ourselves as feminists, but on more than one occasion, when there is a slight difference in opinion, we suddenly become unworthy. In so doing, we have abused and misused the word feminist on many occasions and still expect to get away with it when called out. I thought feminism was supposed to be about the equal socio-economic and political rights of both men and women. Not just women calling men trash, perpetrating misandry and bashing anyone who disagrees with this school of thought. Where is the equality in that? You really should read Colin’s blog if you have not; he raises some extremely valid points and some questions we must all ask ourselves before we embark on our daily fight for equality. Polite reminder; a difference in opinion is part of this equality we so yearn. 

When it comes to homophobia, this is something that can not be thwarted by a single tweet, an entire Twitter war or in a single day’s work. Again, I will refer you to Colin’s blog. He writes;

“It going to take courage for us to tell our parents that we are gay. That our friends are gay. That we work with gay people. That we share food with them. That we know them. That some of them struggle with it. That we work for them. That they have funny jokes. That they are people. Someone’s son and daughter. That others will never overcome their fear. And that others will never come out because they don’t have the courage.”

Someone actually called me out in my DM for “championing” homophobia simply because I stated the obvious; Ls were being served indiscriminately. When it degenerated into homophobia, I deliberately skirted around that agenda for several reasons. One of them is because I am a firm believer in loving everyone as they are, with their opinions even if they differ from mine. Someone will, without a doubt, compare being gay to murder by asking me if I would show the same kind of love to terrorists as I would the gay community. Let me ask you this, when has the LGBTQA community ever caused you, dear reader, personal bodily harm? When have they made your life inconvenient in any way? W. Somerset Maugham said, “There is hardly anyone whose sexual life, if it were broadcast, would not fill the world at large with surprise and horror.”  In simpler terms, much as you find the gay community abominable because of their sexual preferences, even your sexual quirks and nuances would be thought abominable if they came to light. Therefore, before you throw rocks at the gay community, remember that you are in a glass house. You will not tweet the gay away neither will you pray it away, so it makes no sense acting out your sanctimonious ire for all too see when you too commit sins as scarlet as the gays you are pointing fingers at. If your worry is that the gay will rub off on your children, remember that children love without discrimination. It is how we raise them, the principles and values we instill in them by example, that shape their choices. If we could only love as purely as children do… You were put on this earth to do one job and one job only; love thy neighbor as you love thyself. 

When it’s all said and done, we are meant to coexist on this planet together. And if we truly believe we are the chosen generation, the generation of change, you should be reminded that change begins with you and that charity begins at home. If you identify as a feminist, it would make sense that your own family is aware of it and accepts you as you are, because you did not just wake up one morning and fall from the tree of feminism. You also did not become a feminist by osmosis; if you dig deep into your background (if you truly are a feminist) you will realize that you were being groomed into who you are now. If you are gay, that is your choice, and it is our duty as the rest of the world, starting with your family, to respect and love you as you are, not castigate you for your choices. If you are homophobic, that, too is your choice. We are required by faith and design to love and respect you too, flaws and all. You do not see vegans forcing non vegans to quit their meat eating and fur wearing habits. No one is perfect, not even close to it. So if you expect a perfect society because your head is so far up your ass or your nose is so far up the air, have an opinion on everything and you post fire tweets, society apologizes. That will not happen. Rome was not built in a day.